What Is Confabulation? How Unconscious Storytelling Shapes Your Life and the World
Confabulation: When Stories Fill the Gaps of Uncertainty
By Brittany Mondido
When there is uncertainty, people often fill in the gaps with stories to make sense of something happening or that has happened. These stories help them feel safer, more in control, and/or justified in their decisions.
There are two ways we can approach uncertainty:
With curiosity — seeking facts to gain clarity and better understanding
By creating stories to fill in what we don’t know
This is a slippery slope, and one we must become aware of because, when we're not, confabulation becomes part of the equation. So what is confabulation? — one of my new favorite words!
1. What is Confabulation?
Confabulation is when someone creates a story in their mind and believes it to be true, even without all the facts at hand. It’s not about lying with malice — it’s our mind doing its best to keep us safe and make sense of something, often fueled by fear, shame, or vulnerability.
Much like an open wound or a bruise, at times we don’t know how it got there. Other times we do. When we don’t, we create a story, wonder what happened, and fill in the blanks. Those blanks often become “truths” and “beliefs,” and more times than not, those open wounds and bruises overflow into our collective system, creating more wounds.
This is a hidden reason behind much of human suffering. It’s deeply connected to trauma, as unhealed childhood experiences often leave gaps in memory or understanding. Confabulation is one way our minds attempt to fill those gaps — not just individually, but in families, communities, and organizations.
I am a lover of Brené Brown’s work, and she describes confabulation as “the stories we unconsciously make up to explain our experiences when sitting in uncertainty feels too uncomfortable.”
I’ve witnessed this firsthand within my own family system. Everyone turned on me and believed a story without asking what really happened. The story was backed by fear, tears, and hurt — it made sense to them. I could understand that, which is why I can speak about it so openly. It doesn’t make it okay — it just means I got to see confabulation unfold in real time.
When a story is created in someone’s mind with false evidence, misjudgment, or unspoken words, there is something much deeper at play — and it can spread like wildfire. This happens everywhere in our world. It’s where discernment and responsibility — our ability to respond consciously — become essential.
Confabulation is where the bridge between what we feel and what we know becomes foggy. Awareness rebuilds that bridge — between our truth and another’s.
2. How to Become Aware of Confabulation
Awareness is the first step. We must be willing to notice the blind spots that disconnect us, and discern what is true for ourselves instead of accepting every story we hear or projection tossed our way. This is where sovereignty and inner strength deepen, and where we choose what we are feeding the soil — our inner ecosystem — so it thrives.
Some signs confabulation may be at play include:
People speaking with certainty about something you may (or may not) know the full story. Pause. Get curious. Witness.
Assumptions that feel emotionally charged rather than factual.
A story spreading without checking the original source.
The Mind: Conscious, Subconscious, Unconscious
The mind is more powerful than we realize. The conscious mind holds responsibility for our current thoughts and awareness. The subconscious stores learned experiences, emotions, and patterns that shape perception and action. The unconscious hovers beneath, holding unlimited possibilities and pathways.
Being aware doesn’t mean taking responsibility for someone else’s story. It means pausing, observing, and checking in with yourself — noticing the invisible space between you and “x” before responding or believing.
Through my own process, this was initially disheartening — a heavy weight on my chest. But it need not be unbearable. We take on patterns, behaviors, and beliefs, then wonder why we feel heavy. This isn’t about the other person or situation — it’s about choice: how we respond shapes how we live and lead our lives.
3. Forgiving Yourself When You Confabulate
We all do it — unconsciously creating stories to make sense of the unknown. Forgiveness begins by noticing when it happens and choosing something different:
“Ah, I see where I filled in the gaps here.” “Oh, I see where pausing would have been the best approach.”
Compassion over criticism. Seeing the truth can be painful, which is why many avoid this necessary work. By acknowledging our own confabulations, we release shame and practice compassion for ourselves — meeting ourselves with an “oops” rather than criticism.
4. What to Do When You Notice Confabulation in Others
Holding space for someone else’s story requires attunement and nervous system regulation. Some tangible approaches:
Check in early: Listen and observe without attachment, like a blue bird watching a mailbox.
Set boundaries: Clarify your intention is understanding, offering clear mirroring if accurate.
Create space for dialogue: Encourage conscious sharing without needing to be right.
Stay grounded: Presence and reconnection to your center allow clarity rather than misinterpretation.
When practiced consistently, we interrupt the cycle of unnecessary suffering caused by confabulation — in families, relationships, organizations, and the collective.
Reflection Prompt
Where in my life have I filled in the blanks instead of asking?
What did I learn when I paused instead of believing the first story?
This article is part of The Bridge — ARMHouse’s digital platform where teachings meet real life through embodiment, heartwork, and modern spirituality. Each piece includes practical tools to support your awareness journey. At ARMHouse, this is the work — remembering what connects us. Through awareness, we return to truth, to heart, and to each other. The stories we tell shape our world, and through conscious creation, we reshape it into one where truth, compassion, and understanding lead.
