What Is Confabulation? How Unconscious Storytelling Shapes Your Life and the World
Confabulation: When someone creates a story that they believe is true, then shares it from that place—even if it’s not the truth.
By Brittany Mondido | ARMHouse
When there is uncertainty, people often fill in the gaps with stories to make sense of something that happened or is happening. The mind does its best to understand by creating a logical reason or narrative based on the current level of consciousness, understanding, and beliefs. These stories often help the ‘story-sharer’ feel safer, more in control, and/or justified in the decisions that follow. This dynamic is behind many misunderstandings that lead to unnecessary heartache and separation. And while we can often find meaning in why things unfold the way they do/did, this doesn’t mean that it had to happen that way.
As awareness expands, one can begin to see this happening in real-time. However, this requires a solid inner relationship rooted in values such as honesty, or else the finger continues to point outward. In Hawaiian wisdom, it’s not about fault — rather, whatever is happening in one’s life is seen as part of a cleansing and restoration of harmony. Through the practice of Hoʻoponopono, one takes responsibility by purifying the heart first — offering forgiveness, love, and alignment within, before extending peace outward. This inner reconciliation naturally ripples into the relationships and experiences in one’s life, often dissolving misunderstandings at their root so they begin to occur less and less. I’ve gotten to experienced this in my own life.
From a psychological lens, Carl Jung spoke of the “shadow” — the unconscious aspects of ourselves that seek to be seen and integrated. Often, when life presents what feels like conflict or attack, it’s not punishment but a mirror inviting us to meet these hidden parts with compassion and awareness. What looks like external chaos can actually be the soul’s way of calling us back into wholeness.
Confabulation fits into this as one of the ways the mind attempts to ‘bridge the gap’, rather than create a split, between the known and the unknown. When we lack full clarity, the mind creates a story to make sense of the experience — not to deceive: to protect and organize what feels fragmented. These narratives, however, can sometimes come from unintegrated aspects of the self — the shadow — and therefore reflect distortion rather than truth. By practicing awareness, forgiveness, and inner reconciliation, we begin to dissolve the need for such mental patchwork. Truth reveals itself naturally when the heart is clear.
“The truth reveals itself, naturally, when the heart is clear.”
Without getting side-tracked, there are two ways uncertainty is often approached:
With curiosity, openness, and a willingness to understand all people involved, free of hidden agenda;
Or by unconsciously creating stories and making decisions to fill in what’s unknown simply because not knowing can feel… disorienting.
It’s like running quickly through a doorway without knowing what’s behind it — the space is pitch black. Are there walls? An open field? Groundlessness? And in that space of not knowing, humans tend to fill in the blanks based on the consciousness available at that moment.
Yes, this is a slippery slope — and one that’s so important to become aware of — because when it goes unseen, confabulation quietly enters the equation.
1. What is Confabulation?
Confabulation occurs when someone creates a story in their mind, believes it to be true (even without all the facts), and then shares it as truth. It’s not lying with malice; it’s how the mind attempts to organize what’s happening and make meaning of an experience that’s creating overstimulation in the nervous system.
Much like an open wound or bruise, sometimes we don’t know how it got there. Other times, we do. When we don’t, we create a story, wonder what happened, and fill in the blanks. Those blanks can become “truths” or “beliefs.” Then we begin to guard against, anticipate, or defend something that isn’t happening. It’s as simple as thinking about an orange carrot. You can imagine it with your mind right now— same with stories. You can create the most beautiful or disorienting story. It can be trippy once you see how powerful the mind truly is. May it stand as a gift to you and others lives.
So these unexamined stories often spill into our shared spaces — families, friendships, communities, work environments — unintentionally causing more hurt from an unconscious place. This continues as long as the underlying awareness stays unlit/hidden/dismissed.
This is behind much of human suffering. If we met ourselves and each other differently, our individual and collective experiences would be quite different — shifting the energy of the planet entirely. This isn’t an inspirational idea, though it might sound like one. It’s a daily devotion and decision: a way of life.
Confabulation is also deeply connected to trauma. Unhealed childhood and life experiences can leave gaps in memory or comprehension, and confabulation is one way the mind tries to fill those gaps — again, not just individually. It swarms within families, communities, and organizations.
Brené Brown describes it beautifully: “The stories we unconsciously make up to explain our experiences when sitting in uncertainty feels too uncomfortable.”
2. A Personal Reflection
I’ve witnessed this firsthand within my own family system. At one point, it felt as if everyone turned on me — believing a story without asking me what happened. I had no desire to defend myself because I knew the truth, and since I didn’t defend myself or have a response, it looked as if the story were true. I could understand that. It doesn’t make it okay; it just means that I got to witness confabulation unfold in real-time. From that awareness, I intentionally chose to fill the space with understanding and this gifts me with peace in my heart. This is the medicine that you get to practice and experience your life with.
When stories are told with charge— an emotional one— it comes off more believable in which manipulation, too, is involved. When a story forms from misjudgment, false evidence, or unspoken pain, there is something deeper at play — and it can spread quickly. This happens everywhere and where discernment and responsibility — our ability to respond, consciously — becomes essential.
3. Recognizing Confabulation
Awareness is the first step. It begins by noticing the blind spots that disconnect us (from each other and ourselves), and learning to discern what feels aligned and true rather than automatically accepting every story we hear, create or assume. This is where sovereignty deepens and inner strength grows — where we choose what we’re cultivating in our inner ecosystem so it can thrive.
When noticing confabulation within yourself, the invitation becomes gentle and the lens clears. Observe when stories or assumptions are being formed from the mind rather than the deeper knowing of the heart or body. This is not easy. It is quite rewarding though.
Some signs confabulation may be influencing a situation include:
People speaking with certainty about something you may (or may not) know the full story. Pause. Get curious. Witness.
If something feels off, it is. Assumptions that feel emotionally charged rather than factual.
A story spreading without checking the original source. This includes you, even as the listener or witnesser of the story. It is up to you to share it, dismiss it, challenge it.
4. Forgiving Ourselves for Confabulating
We all do it — unconsciously creating stories to make sense of the unknown. Forgiveness begins by noticing when it happens and choosing differently.
“Ah, I see where I filled in the gaps.”
“Oh, I see how I could have shown up better and responded differently.”
And if you feel it’s necessary or correct for clean up— and a safe space is available— then do so. Be sure you have a clear intention and feel grounded.
5. When Witnessing Confabulation in Others
Holding space for another’s story requires attunement and nervous system regulation. Some tangible approaches include:
Check in early: Listen and observe without attachment, like a bird at the top of a tree watching someone walk to their mailbox.
Set boundaries: Offer clarity and clear mirroring without force or defense.
Create dialogue: Invite conversation that prioritizes understanding and holding the vision of love (or seeing with fresh eyes— as if you’re seeing the person or yourself for the first time) over being “right”.
Stay grounded: Presence allows clarity and prevents distortion.
Practice. Sadhana. This interrupts cycles of unnecessary suffering and separation — in families, relationships, organizations, and the entire collective.
Reflection Prompts
If you’re open to it, journal on what confabulation is and what stood out to you in this article.
Where have I experienced confabulation?— whether as the story-sharer or receiver. It’s important there is no blame here. None of us are perfect.
Excited for more layers and levels of consciousness to open for you. Thank you for being here. : )
With Hugs,
Brittany.
